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Monday, 10 January 2011

Muslim Marriage....How to win the heart of your wife

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day -which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that, buy her a gift just to say thank you for something small she did, like ironing your shirt before work.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (Pbuh) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Love her parents and her family like you do your own, buy them gifts and offer to visit them often. This will make her happy because she will know that her parents mean a lot to you.

6. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (Pbuh) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even when he was fasting.

7. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

8. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

9. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (Pbuh) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah ( R.A ) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

10. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (Pbuh) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

11. Listen to her attentively, no woman wants to feel like she is being ignored,  when she is talking, take what she says seriously and give some positive feedback.

12. Be a man! Don't act feminine, women want a real man who appreciates the feminine qualities in his wife. When you're out hold her hand. When in a crowded area don't walk 10 steps ahead of her without looking back. Don't cross the road without her. Your job is to look after her so without being over protective learn to show that you care about her safety.

13. Show your affection for her in different ways, such as gently kissing her to wake her up for fajr or slowly wrapping your arms around her waist when she least expects it (e.g. when she's washing the dishes). Tell her you love her before you go to sleep and tell her you love her even more than the day before when you wake up.

14. When you get home from work don't talk about work. Make it seem like you couldn't stop thinking about her all day and greet her with a smile and salaam. Freshen up and go make her feel like you haven't seen her for a month.

15. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (Pbuh): "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - ta’ala to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta’ala knows best!!

www.islamfortoday.com (a few points have been added and some have been edited)

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