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A girl with a mind, a woman with modesty, a lady with classthese are the confessions of a hijabi girl in a crazy world...

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Monday, 14 May 2012

Stop! I'm the haraam police...o.O


This is haram, that is haram, my gosh you are haram!

Its come to the point where it's actually ridiculous, I'm so sick and tired of people judging each other and being FB sheikhs ready to do their service to the world and tell everyone how haraam you are. Seriously what is wrong with people??!

When did we go from looking at the good in ones intentions and actions to firstly jumping to conclusions and secondly haramifying every breath they take? Thing is we've lost sight of the bigger picture and sisters (and brothers) are constantly looking for faults in each other instead of taking the good out of what they do.

For example someone uploads a sisters speech in a conference (really good, Islamic, informative, eye opening speech I must say) and you get comments under it with people saying 'isnt a woman's voice her awra? It's haraam for sisters to speak in front of men. Why are her eyebrows plucked? Why is she wearing a green jilbab doesn't she know you have to wear black? Sister I advise you to not put up videos on youtube' And I'm sitting here thinking...really??! After that entire lecture all you got from it were her eyebrows?

And I wrote a status once, an inspiring status about the history of Islam and wrote inshaAllah at the end of it, then someone replies 'I think you mean to write in shaa Allah, it's three separate words you have to write it like that'.....and yes it made me so so annoyed at the fact that this person didn't take anything else from that post except the way I wrote inshaAllah.

So sick and tired and annoyed and frustrated with our ummah, like really annoyed. Before a sister wears hijab people don't judge her, as soon as she puts a hijab on other sisters start making comments about her clothes and her nail varnish and her eyeliner and anything else they can pick out....like way to go encouraging Muslimah's to take a step in the right direction, they take one step forward and you do everything you can to drag them back 5 steps.

Then you have the sisters who don't look at themselves but constantly pick on things other people are doing, so a sister says she wants to get a coloured maxi dress/abaya and the sister is like 'why would you want to wear colour? You'll be attracting attention to yourself when you're outside from men and women, I only wear black and dark colours' and the ironic thing is the sister has a picture of herself without hijab as her profile picture...like really? Come on!

And then you get the sly ones that pretend to be giving you advice by posting hadith and Quran indirectly telling you that your head is a camel hump....let me clear this up...I don't encourage women to wear their hijab like a camel hump however you interpret that, but the model in my pictures (my sister) does not do anything to volumise the back of her head, she doesn't wear an extra scarf at the back and doesn't wear a volumising scrunchy or clip..her hair is naturally long, she actually gets upset when people try to 'advise' her about this whole camel hump issue because unless she chops all her hair off her scarf will look volumised at the back . I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone with long hair having a volumised look because that is natural and that is between her and Allah so please don't be jealous, just get over it.

Yeah they might say things to advise you but most of these people will never email you or send you a private message notifying you that something is either not permissible or not favoured in Islam because they get a thrill out of telling you that you are sinning and letting the world know while they re at it, just so they can look like such good Muslims. If they were really genuine they'd get off their backside and go look at themselves in the mirror and then advise you according to Quran and Sunnah...privately and not try to humiliate you.

Those who love (to see) scandal published (and) broadcast among the Believers will have a grievous Penalty in this life and in the Hereafter: Allah knows and ye know not. (Quran, 19-24)

Ibn 'Abbas said on the following verse of the Qur'an, "Nor defame one another" (49:11), "Do not spend your time finding fault with one another."
(Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #330)  


'Abd Allah reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "A believer is not a fault-finder and is not abusive, obscene, or course."
(Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners 313, Ahmad, Ibn Hibban, and Hakim) 
It is true that there are some sins which need to be exposed but on some specified conditions which we may get to know in Hadiths and Quran. But in most of the cases others sins are asked not to reveal or make it open. 
One of the reasons behind it is that we judge things according to our limited knowledge and it may happen that the sinner realise his mistake and repent afterwards and finally turn to Allah SWT and seek His forgiveness. 
In such a case Allah Almighty can forgive him and can uplift his status. So what if his sins are exposed to other people and they keep on criticising or taunting him for his bad deeds. We can realise that in such condition the person who exposed the bad deed of another will be guilty. So to avoid such situation Allah Almighty wants us to keep others affair in secret which need not to be exposed and which spread hatred in society.  - Turn to Islam-

We are all HUMAN we are all on a JOURNEY spiritually, physically and in terms of knowledge and understanding, we will make mistakes because that's what humans do and then we will learn from those mistakes iA. Please remember that before you decide to criticise someone.


Our Ummah doesn't lack critics, it lacks people who are willing to be pro-active and do something good. For every one person who takes a step to do something good, behind him will be 10 people  criticising him.

So let me ask you next time before you post something about someone, publicly humiliating and pointing fingers at them, ask yourself 'am I writing this for the sake of Allah or are my intentions to get some attention and make me feel better about myself?'....check yourself and your intentions because on the day of judgement you will be called up to answer for your sins and then you will regret all that time you wasted on other people rather than yourself.

Enjoin the good, forbid the evil but don't be a bully.

7 comments:

  1. Brilliant. Fantastic!!!

    Very true points made here. I've expressed this myself a few times. :)

    JazaakAllah sis.

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  2. Very well said sister. It really annoys me when sisters choose to critise others publicly. If you really must 'advise', it is more apropriate to do so privately and politely and not in a scathing and public manner.

    JazaakAllah for your eloquant words sister.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you liked it and can relate.

      I write posts about hijab and it's importance as well as things like plucking eyebrows but I try to tell people about the issue so that they can make the decision for themselves, so they do it for the sake of Allah and not because I said something to hurt them or make them feel like a 'bad' muslim.

      We must all help each other be better by genuinely advising in a polite and friendy manner, in the way we would want someone to speak to us, and then we just need to leave it and make du'a for them. InshaAllah this will build the sisterhood and improve all of our characters

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  3. I agree with you sis, I shared this in my blog, hope it's OK. I wish we would start supporting each other.

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  4. Yeah, I agree, too. People need to calm down.

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  5. I am so glad you have written this, you have literally pointed out a lot of things people do. I think one of the reasons people do this is to make themselves feel better or that they are the better 'Muslim' but its sad and upsetting to think that people cannot say nice things to others or just keep quiet. The hijab thing, people think i were them scrunchies or flower clips but it just my hair because its long and curly and naturally big and i cant really make it thin or flat.I remember when i started wearing hijab a lot of Muslim women were the ones to criticize and judge me yet my non Muslims friends were very accepting of me choosing to cover.I just don't understand some people these days.

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  6. Salam, brother thank you sooo much for what you wrote. trust me i was so depressed for these haram/halal conflicts that i dont find doing praying and other ibadah enjoyable. whenever i try to go close to Allah i always get attacked to those haram/halal things. but because of you i think i can do my prayer well. one more thing brother i would like to advise some sisters. there is a Hadith which says camel hump is haram. but did hadith show a specific picture that this style is haram? NO. but the ignorant people nowadays point at anyone who wears hijab a liitle bit high as a camel hump. so i hope you also support to what i said. i waasnt a hijabi before but when i started wearing hijab people started judging me with haram/halal things

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